Hindi funny jokes -part8

1) Father - tumhare result ka kya hua?
    Son - headmster ka beta fail hogaya
    Father - aur tum?
    Son - doctor ka beta bhi fail hogaya
    Father - aur tumhara result kaisa aaya?
    Son - wo wakeel ka beta bhi fail ho gaya
    Father - kamine mein tera pooch raha hoon
    Son - tho aap kaunse Rajnikant ho jo aapka beta paas ho jayega?


2) Ek ladki pool ke upar se chalang laganey hi wali thi ke ek bike wala uske pas aa kar
    ruka aur bola ke agar tum suicide karney jaa hi rahi ho, tho ek baar mujhe ek lambi kiss de jao
    Wo ladki tayar ho gayi phir itni lambi or gehri kiss di usney ladke ko ki wesi kiss
    ladke ne pehele kabhi nahi li kisi se
    Phir usne ladki se suicide karne ki wajah poochi tho ladki ne kaha -
    Mere ghar walo ko pasand nahi ke mein ladki ban kar ghoomu
    Mera naam Karan Khanna hain

3) Fit and tested Punjabi dieting plan with tremendous results
    7:30 am - 1 bread, half boiled egg
    10 am - 1 cup green tea
    12 pm - half cup boiled chane
    1 pm - 1 banana
    5 pm - 1 cup tea without sugar
    7 pm - 1 cup skim milk
    9 pm - green tea
    10 pm - Johnnie walker
    11:45 pm - chicken tandoori, raita, naan, butter chicken, fried rice, chocolate cake,
                      gulab jamun, ice cream aur aakhir mein ek chilled diet coke
    Bus! isse zyada nahi

4) Ek saasu maa apne 3 damado ka pyaar dekhne ke liye dariya me khood gayi
    1st damad ne bacha liya tho saas ne use car di
    2nd day fir khoodi
    2nd damad ne bachaya tho bike mili
    3rd day fir khoodi
    3rd damad ne socha cycle hi reh gayi, kya fayda
    aur saas doob gayi
    Agle din us damad ko mercedes mili. Kaise?
    Sasur ne di

5) Question - what's the opposite of Barcelona?
    Answer - andar se do na

6) Santa gets a message
    Kya aap Anna Hazaare ke saath hain?
    Santa replies -
    Nahi mein ghar pe hoon. Kuch kaam tha kya?

7) Professor to student -
    Aaj pehli baar tum class mein baatein kar rahe ho
    hamesha tho tum nazrein jhuka ke meri baatein sunte the
    kya hogaya hain tumhe?
    Student - sir, aaj mera sms pack khatam hogaya hain

8) Apna baccha roye tho dil mein dard hota hain aur doosre ka roye tho sir mein
    Apni biwi roye tho sir mein dard hota hain aur doosre ki roye tho dil mein

9) Top emotional dialog of boys when girls don't reply them -
    "Mein tho hoon hi boring, koi nahi bolta"
    "Koi baat nahi reh lenge hum aise hi dhuki"
    "Tum bhi kar do ignore ab, hu hi ghatiya"
    After 5 minutes -
    "Atleast ek reply to kar deti"
    After 10 minutes -
    "Aaj ke baad kabhi disturb nahi karunga. Be happy!"

10) On wedding night, husband to wife -
      Sabse pyaar se rehna
      Sab ki respect karna
      Mere parents ki care karna
      Hamesha sach bolna
      Doosron ki madad karna
      Badon ka respect aur choto se pyaar karna
      Wife bed se uthi aur room ka door khol ke boli -
      Sab andar ajaayein, yaha gyaan praapt ho raha hain

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