English funny jokes -part5

1) Best reply ever -
    If someone says you are not looking good,
    Just say, excuse me! I am not your mirror

2) Commerce professor asks the student -
    What is the most important source of finance for starting business?
    Student - Father-in-law

3) I asked 100 women, which shampoo they preferred and top answers were
    "get the hell out of my bathroom"

4) Height of bravery for girls -
    Moving out of house without make-up

5) Girl - I cheated
    Boy - so? what do u think I love you? I was also cheating you for past 2 years
    Girl cried and said - I was talking about exams
    Boy - ooops

6) "Each night I go to sleep, I die. Next day I wake up, I'm reborn!" - M.K.Gandhi
    "Each night I go to sleep, I'm reborn. Next day I wake up, I'm dead again." - Student

7) There are 3 kinds of professions in the world -
    a) Find a job and start working for someone's dream
    b) Start working for your dream and become entrepreneur
    c) Be pessimistic like me, wait for the world to end by December 2012

8) A lady visited a bar for the first time, she sat on the table in front of d bartender
    A guy at her left ordered, "Jack Daniels, single"
    A guy at her right ordered, "Johnny Walker, single "
    The bartender looked at the lady and said, and u?
    Lady replied, "Reshma Parmar, Married"

9) Generation gap -
    I heard my son's girl friend screaming "Oh God.. oh God" in his bedroom upstairs
    I'm so glad he found a good religious girl

10) Women's logic -
      I went to buy a suit
      But I saw a beautiful pair of shoes
      So I bought this hand bag