English funny jokes -part1

1) Question - What is the difference between men and puppies?
    Answer - Puppies grow up
    Question - What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
    Answer - Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever

2) Question - If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the
                     ground first?
    Answer - Who cares
    Question - What did God say after he created man?
    Answer - I can do better than this! And then he created woman

3) Question - What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?
    Answer - Don't know, haven't seen either
    Question - What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
    Answer - i) no mind ii) no business

4) Question - What is the difference between men and pigs?
    Answer - Pigs don't turn into men when they drink
    Question - What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    Answer - The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no
                    intention of driving

5) Question - What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
    Answer - Exchange him!
    Question - Why do men like smart women?
    Answer - Opposites attract!

6) The Birla's run an engg. college named Birla Institute of Technology and
    Science - "BITS"
    For obvious reasons, the Tata's couldn't start such an institute

7) How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps?
    a) Take a picture of her
    b) Don't show it to her

8) Do not ask a girl her age. They just have 5 age groups -
    a) Baby
    b) Babe
    c) Biwi
    d) Bebe
    e) Biji

9) Boy -You look exactly like my wife
    Girl - Ohhh.. What's your wife's name?
    Boy - I'm not married yet
    Moral - Learn new methods to propose

10) Sonia Gandhi was very embarrassed & disappointed on hearing that Robert Vadra
      is worth 300 crores
      In political terms, he is much below "poverty line"