Funny jokes | Gargling

A young woman arrived to her doctor with black and blue signs of beating

Doctor - what happened?

Woman - Doctor, I do not know what to do, whenever my husband comes home drunk he beats the
hell out of me, almost killing me

Funny jokes | Homework

Teacher - where’s your homework?

Girl - Umm (looks to boy friend for help)

Boy - it was my fault ma'am. Sorry

Girl (whispers) - what r u doing?

Boy smiled & winked at her

Funny jokes | Magic sandwich

Once, a blonde went to a restaurant on the 90th floor in a tower, she saw a very handsome man

Blonde - what are you eating?

Man - I am eating the magic sandwich

Blonde - magic! what does it do?

Funny jokes | Son praying

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying -
"God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma. Ta-ta, grandpa."

The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying.

The next morning, they found grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack.

The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

Funny jokes | Stepping on a duck

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven - don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

English funny jokes -part5

1) Best reply ever -
    If someone says you are not looking good,
    Just say, excuse me! I am not your mirror

2) Commerce professor asks the student -
    What is the most important source of finance for starting business?
    Student - Father-in-law

Funny jokes | Divorce letter

An interesting divorce letter -

My Dear Husband, I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years and I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home and you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new night gown. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You didn't tell me you love me anymore, you didn't want s** or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your Ex-wife

Funny jokes | Types of people on facebook

Types of people on Facebook -

1) The "Rooster" - Feels that it is their job to tell Facebook "Good Morning" every day

2) The "Lurker" - Never posts or comments on your post, but reads everything,
    and might make reference to your status if they see you in public

3) The "Hyena" - Doesn't ever really say anything, just LOL's and LMAO's at everything

Hindi funny jokes -part10

1) Ek baccha bahut sari chocolates kha raha tha, tabhi ek aadmi use salah deta hain
    Aadmi - beta, itni chocolate nahi khate, theek nahi hoti
    Baccha - ek baat bolu, mere dada 105 saal ke hain
    Aadmi - achha kya wo bahut chocolate khate hain?
    Baccha - nahi
    Aadmi - tho fir?
    Baccha - ullu ke patthe wo apne kaam se kaam rakhte hain
                   teri tarah ungli baazi nahi karte

English funny jokes -part4

1) Funny fact -
    People don't care when they lose 1 rupee coin from their pocket
    But they feel distressed when they lose 1 rupee from their mobile

Hindi funny jokes -part9

1) Girls, while watching Titanic - How romantic! Awww!
    Boys, while watching Titanic - Oye! wo drawing wala scene phir se laga na

Hindi funny jokes -part8

1) Father - tumhare result ka kya hua?
    Son - headmster ka beta fail hogaya
    Father - aur tum?
    Son - doctor ka beta bhi fail hogaya
    Father - aur tumhara result kaisa aaya?
    Son - wo wakeel ka beta bhi fail ho gaya
    Father - kamine mein tera pooch raha hoon
    Son - tho aap kaunse Rajnikant ho jo aapka beta paas ho jayega?

English funny jokes -part3

1) 3 men died and went to God
    God - how many affairs you all had in your life time?
    1st - 40
    God gave him a cycle
    2nd -10
    Gave him a scooty
    3rd - I was faithful to my wife
    God gave him BMW
    After sometime they all met
    They asked 3rd man - you got a BMW & not looking happy?
    3rd - yesterday I saw my wife riding a cycle

Hindi funny jokes -part7

1) Engagement ke baad -

    Boy - Thank God! is din ka tho mein kabse intezar kar raha tha
    Girl - Tho mein jaun?
    Boy - Nahi bilkul nahi
    Girl - Do you love me?
    Boy - Haan, karta tha, kartu hoon aur karta rahunga
    Girl - Kabhi mere sath dhoka karoge?
    Boy - Nahi, isse accha tho mein mar jaun
    Girl - Kya mujhe pyaar karoge?
    Boy - Always
    Girl - Tum mujhe maroge?
    Boy - Nahi, mein aisa aadmi nahi hoon
    Girl - Kya mein tum pe vishwas kar sakti hoon?
    Boy - Yes
    Girl - Oh darling!
    aur ab marriage ke baad same joke neeche se upar pado

Hindi funny jokes -part6

1) Kid to mom - mom main kaise paida hua?
    Mom - maine ek bartan me mitti dal kar rakh di, kuch dino bad tu usme se mujhe mila
    Kid ne bhi aisa kia aur kuch dino baad usme se ek mendak nikla
    Kid(gusse me) - dil to karta hain ki sale tujhe goli maar du,
                              par kya karu, aulaad hain tu meri

2) Boy - Tum ladki hoke drink karti ho?
    Girl - Tho kya do peg ke liye gender change karwaun?